Thanksgiving (Explained by Mudpie)
by Mudpie
Summary: Mudpie has a bit too much sparkling cider and decides to tell the Gundam Boys HER version of Thanksgiving.


Thanksgiving (Explained by Mudpie)

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE INSANE STORIES!!!!!!!!! So there. You can't sue me! ::blows a raspberry at the evil lawyers::

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It's a lovely evening ('Twas the night 'fore Thanksgiving!) and Mudpie, your beloved authoress, was sitting in her wonderful home drinking Sparkling Cider. Just then, blissfully ignorant, Duo bounced up.

D: Hey Mudpie! What's Thanksgiving?

M: Ah! My young friend-I will tell you of the true story of Thanksgiving! 

D: ::sweatdrop:: Mud-chan, you're a few years younger than me.

M: Shush, shush, and gather 'round, young one.

As you all can see, the bubbles in the Sparkling Cider had gone to the poor girl's head. She began to explain the meaning of Thanksgiving to Duo.

M: See, it all started a loonnnggg time ago, when giant turkeys roamed the earth. They worshipped turkey-gods, and they caught small, pitiful humans and roasted them over giant bonfires with lots of booze! Thus began the tradition of giving Thanks to the Turkey gods! After a while, though, the humans overcame the giant turkeys, and gave forth to the smaller turkeys of today. Now we give thanks to the small turkeys, for getting smaller!!

D: Wow! Thanks Mud-chan! 

And so, the young Du-Du set off-

D: Hey! Who's writing this?

None of your business. And so, the young Du-Du set off to annoy Heero some more. Then the arrogant Wufei who currently had a rather large stick up his as-

W: Now I really want to know who's writing this! C'mon! You've got to tell us so we can kill it!

Are you calling me an it?

W: I don't really know if you are male or onna, so I settle on 'it'

Oooh, I'm going to hurt you so bad after this..

W: ::snorts:: Try it!

Anyways, he was rather crass and began to rant about the injustice of not honoring any Chinese holidays, but instead, honoring all of Mudpie's 'unjust' American holidays. 

M: Sit down, my dearest kawaii friend! I will tell you how Thanksgiving came to be!

W: Mudpie, have you been licking toads again?

M: ::hides a toad behind her back:: Nope! Now I shall begin my tale. Take a seat, fiery dragon, and listen to my tale! It all began a few years back, when no turkeys existed in the world! Then a turkey fairy appeared, and created many of these ugly birds to roam the earth.

W: I somehow do not believe this..

M: Hush now, young scholar, and allow me to be tangled in my own tales. These ugly, wasteful birds angered many people on earth. So they decided to roast them over an open fire! After a while, the Turkey Fairy appeared. She was incredibly angry with these humans, for destroying the ugly birds. She waged war against the humans, and they were miserable. After a while, many humans got angry and brutally murdered the fairy! So every year, we eat these ugly birds to celebrate the victory of killing the Turkey Fairy!

W: O.o; I still do not believe you. Now, give me the toad that you have behind you back. ::holds out his hand::

M: ::drops the toad:: What toad? AAAAAGHHHHH! Mr.Toad dieedd!!

Mr. Toad: x.x 

M: ::wails miserably:: Mr. Toad! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

W: I'm..just going to be running along now! ::bolts before she floods the whole house::

45 minutes later, after the kind young Quatre had calmed our heroic authoress down, and she began to tell him the tale of Thanksgiving. 

M: ::sniffle:: Thanks for calming me down, Quat-kun! Want to hear the story of Thanksgiving? ::takes a big swig of Sparkling Cider::

Q: Uh..sure.

M: Okay now. The tradition of Thanksgiving started in the Future, when people have the ability to travel back in time! They started it, and made up a story to go along with it!

Q: How do you know this?

M: I have connections. Anyways, they climbed into their time machine and went back to invent the holiday. After feeding people some crackpot story about a long hard winter and Indians, they jumped back into the time machine and headed back to the future and pigged out! ^_^V I love myself. 

Q: O.o; I need to go, Mudpie. See you! ::runs off::

With only two more pilots to explain the mystery of Thanksgiving to, Mudpie's absurd brain-

M: HEY! My brain is not absurd! It's just a bit misunderstood. 

Um, sure. Anyways, Mudpie's ridiculous brain began making up more crackpot stories to feed the naïve Gundam Pilots. Just then, a very grumpy Heero Yuy prowled into her lair. 

M: Hi Heero! How are you? I'm fine, really. ::takes a swig directly out of her sparkling cider bottle::

H: Hn. 

M: Okay, okay, fine! I'll tell you the tale of how Thanksgiving came to be. It all started just a few days ago, when I was just starving for turkey. So I called up my good friend the Mayor-

H: Hnn.

M: Of course this is true, Heero! As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I called up my good friend the Mayor and told him it was time for a new holiday. I told him that it should be the day that we give thanks for the fact that turkey exists and dress up in cool pilgrim outfits! 

H: Hnnnh.

M: Well, I don't care if you think I'm lying. Go away! ::tosses her empty (plastic) bottle at him::

H: ::stalks off, shooting death glares over his shoulder::

After that unsuccessful mission, Mudpie is very dispirited! Our insane friend realizes that no one truly believes her after all. She sinks into a depressed state, hiding in a closet with several stolen bottles of champagne from the dead Trieze's stores. (After wrestling several guards and Lady Une.)

D: Hey! I believe her! 

That's different. You lack a brain. 

D: ::pouts:: You suck

You get paid.

M: ::hiccup:: What a cute wall! ::glomps the wall:: x.x ::lays there for a while::

D: See you all later! I hoped you liked Mudpie's story. 

M: See ya'lls laaterrrr! Reevviieeww, or I'll tell ::hic:: Lady ::hic:: Une ::hic:: that YOU stole the champagne, not ::hic:: me! 

Yes, review my little chickadees! 


End file.
